Forever alone.
Single as a dollar bill.
Free as a bird.
I'm always here when I need me.
What horrid stigmas there are on being single.
Here's a typical convo between a girl and a guy at the bar:
Guy: Hey girl, where's your boyfriend at?
Girl: Um, I don't have a boyfriend.
Guy: What? How are you single?!
Pause right there. To be fair, this is probably no Prince Charming talking to you, but he does have potential to make you feel like a lonely loser. Next thing you know you're dancing with this d-bag that pretty much just took a hit at your confidence.
What do you think of when you say you're "single?"
I've decided to define single in my own words. Decide what it really means to me. I've been single for 3 years. Sure, I've had little flings here and there, but nothing serious. I've learned a lot about myself, and I've also learned a lot about relationships in life in general. I've also never had more fun.
Lets break it down.
S
Simple. Stable. Sublime. Satisfying.
Things are not complicated. The only man's opinion you have to worry about is your dads, and its still just something to keep in mind. Life should always be simple. One of my major life goals is to be able to look at myself in the mirror and be satisfied with the fact that I am alone. YOU are your strongest foundation; without the ground beneath you being solid, how can you expect anything in your life to be in place? You can't. You have to secure the ground under your own two feet before you can expect someone to stand there with you. Find beauty in being alone, find beauty in the world around you.
I
Independent. Intoxicated.
I can hear the Lil Boosie song now. I swear I sing it in my head every time I spell the word. I-N-D-E-P- ok sorry I'll get to the point. Independence. If I could choose one feeling I think so many people miss out on in life, it'd be this one. So many people view being single as a flaw, or as "missing a piece of themselves," and then end up in relationships where they depend completely on others to make them happy. Loneliness does not coincide with being alone. I challenge you, don't let someone do something for you that you can't do yourself. Unless its like swapping out your engine to your car or something. But really.
Okay. Intoxication. This is not pointing directly towards alcohol but it is sorta. Uh hello, I'm 21. Just being real. ANYWAYS. Who doesn't want to party in their 20's. Being social is what being young is all about. Going out to parties and to the bars. Dancing the night away. Making friends and memories you'll never forget. Not having to worry about where you'll end up at the end of the night. Emphasis: fun and safety. Of course you should always know your limits and not do shady sh*t. Use protection. Thats my disclaimer. Live it up party people.
N
Nostalgic.
Okay. Lets be real again, there are going to be times where you want to feel affection from someone. Dudes, you can skip N and head right on to G if you'd like because we're about to get emotional up in this piece. Be it a rainy day, that song that always reminds you of the boy (or girl if you fellas are still with me) that got away. Let me make this clear: ITS OKAY TO BE NEEDY ONCE IN AWHILE. It's totally human to want human contact. But before you hit up that ex boy/girlfriend and talk about all the good times you had, take a second to think about why y'all aren't together anymore. Think about all the times they pissed you off and made you want to egg their car. Feel better? Me too. No drunk texting either, that's messy. Buy a dog. Let's move on.
G
Gainful. Guiltless.
There is so much potential in having all the time in the world on your hands. Well minus school and work and all of that stuff. It gives you plenty of time to think, trust me. You can reflect, and on the other hand you can also make goals. With time, you can also reach those goals. Does this go back to satisfaction and independence? Absolutely. You are strong. You are smart. You can accomplish anything you want. Go anywhere you want. And not have to feel guilty about it. Ah, how amazing it is to be worry free. Not worrying about having someone monitoring your every move. I look at life like a giant ball of clay; there are millions of different ways to mold it before it sets. Don't wait until it dries to decide you want to change.
L
Lax. Leisurely.
Okay, yeah, these words both mean basically the same thing. You get my point though. Things aren't rushed, you're allowed to be who you want to be. No judgement. No expectations. Jam out to Brittany Spears in the car if you want. Who cares. This isn't a complicated factor and doesn't need a lot of explanation. Just do what you want, stop worry about control. Breathe in, breathe out.
E
Exciting. Empowering.
This is supposed to be a happy, exciting time in your life. Not some gloomy scene where you're all alone crying on your death bed. Feel empowered. Feel in control of your life. You make all master decisions. You are the one with the pen, write your manual how you want it. It's time to figure out what you really want out of life. OR NOT. Who says you have to? No one. Hell, if you want, you don't have to think about anything. Let your hair down. Stop and smell those damn roses everyone is always talking about, put one of those bitches behind your ear. You're beautiful, in every way. Be passionate. Fall in love with yourself. Give yourself all the time you need.
Never freaking settle. Know what you deserve. Don't look twice until you find it.
There are plenty of fish out there, but first you have to explore the sea.
One day, maybe I'll post about finding love. For now, I'm happy being single. I'm learning new things that I love doing, I'm learning all kinds of things that I hate doing, and I'm finding a whole new respect for myself I never thought I'd have. I'm also having the time of my life. Strangely looking forward to a future that is so blurry. Creating a new definition of happiness, day after day.
"A man without a woman is a bachelor. I woman without a man is a genius."
OKAY as I promised I have to update about Momma Crossfitters 30 day challenge. Phew its been a long day. Last night I did day 2 (19:48 time), and today I did day 3 (24:35 time).
I only can say one thing: squats, squats, squats squats, squats. Oh and burpees *belch*
If you wanna check it out, do so here, and hey, play alone why don't ya!
I'd like to know your views about being single. Post in the comments below!
Until next time, Courtney.
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